I see every day as an opportunity to thank God - the source - the spirit - the universal energy that connects us each to each other and to all things - the one - the truth - I AM - and to show gratitude for all that has been, all that will be, and for now, which is really all that we know. My heart is open and willing to receive everyone, ideas, abundance, the flow of prosperity that is given to us without strings.
I give in gratitude that we have such grace.
Thank you for the opportunity to know truth, to stay in practice and to breath in the flow of all energy.
Gratitude is the fuel for all. The ability to bloom where you are planted or be a seed that was tossed with the wind to rise somewhere else. Gratitude is the sun and the rain. It is the power that we each have to fulfill dreams - to create the world. To change and continue in the flow.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Thursday, January 1, 2009
A Poem for the New Year
Waking to a New Old World
Waking to a new world this morning
Frigid and bright outside
Warm and dark behind the blinds
In bed with my wife and new baby who
grunts in her sleep
I was amazed by a new old Ohio
appearing in the last few hours
of blowing snow
covering the ground
not like a blanket
but like my Grandmother’s kitchen floor
one evening when I was 12.
I ventured that night
with the adults out of the house
to make cinnamon rolls
from scratch
spilling flour over sister’s head –
she resembled an unfriendly ghost.
She squealed of the trouble I was in
once grown-ups got home
of not helping to clean
that she didn’t like
smin-o-man rolls anyway.
Once I learned to “roll as in jelly-roll”
-they were gooey rich, steaming
deliciousness if oddly shaped –
better because of sister’s complaints and
the snowy mess on the floor
-especially her grin
powder-sugar icing
dripping from her chin.
Waking to a new old Ohio
I have not traded
one love for another.
I have held onto all love,
the warmth
of a new old winter day
and cinnamon rolls.
Waking to a new world this morning
Frigid and bright outside
Warm and dark behind the blinds
In bed with my wife and new baby who
grunts in her sleep
I was amazed by a new old Ohio
appearing in the last few hours
of blowing snow
covering the ground
not like a blanket
but like my Grandmother’s kitchen floor
one evening when I was 12.
I ventured that night
with the adults out of the house
to make cinnamon rolls
from scratch
spilling flour over sister’s head –
she resembled an unfriendly ghost.
She squealed of the trouble I was in
once grown-ups got home
of not helping to clean
that she didn’t like
smin-o-man rolls anyway.
Once I learned to “roll as in jelly-roll”
-they were gooey rich, steaming
deliciousness if oddly shaped –
better because of sister’s complaints and
the snowy mess on the floor
-especially her grin
powder-sugar icing
dripping from her chin.
Waking to a new old Ohio
I have not traded
one love for another.
I have held onto all love,
the warmth
of a new old winter day
and cinnamon rolls.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Waiting is OVER!
So, the waiting is over and I have been a parent for a week and a day. I think we all have a tendancy to not believe until we see or experience and I will not say that I didn’t know becoming a father would change everything forever. But, no matter how excited I was for this moment, this change, this shift in the universe, I was not prepared for the love, the depth of caring and adoration I feel for the now 1 week and 1 day old Rhiannon Nia-Evelyn Smith. My love for her is like a thirst that I just can’t quentch.
Yamaya’s water broke at 1am the morning of Dec. 8. We were at the hospital by 4am because she was already in the midst a full labor and was dialated 4 cm. By 6:30 Rhiannon was born with mom and baby both beautiful and healthy. Since that day, life is so wonderful. People always tell you that life after kids is never the same – and why would you want it to be? Why would anybody want to go back to the pre-baby life?
I heard radio personality and some-time actor Jay Thomas say on the radio the other day that any time you see a man pushing a stroller you are looking at a man who is miserable. Either Jay was trying to be funny or he is a giant douche. I’m thinking the later.
What are the top 5 things I have learned in the 3 weeks since Rhiannon came into my life? (By the way – everything here was told to us a gazillion times by other people during the pregnancy. I never doubted any of them, but sometimes you have to experience to really know.)
I have learned:
1. New fathers should be prepared to take over all house-hold chores. Don’t think of this as a honey-do list – think of this is your chance to show your wife how much you appreciate her vagina stretching enough for your child to come out.
2. Sleep is precious. A baby requiring a boob every two hours does not provide for a good night’s sleep. Although, Yamaya does want me to be at my best for work so she generally lets me sleep. On the weekends I try to take the baby as much as possible to let Yamaya sleep. (*See note above concerning appreciation of vagina stretching.)
3. EVERYBODY wants to touch your baby. I mean everybody. I am not really a Spermophobe but neither do I like people to touch me. Perfect strangers love to look, ask how old and then their hands start to reach out. We are all drawn to babies I guess, but I have never wanted to touch a stranger’s child. Generally they stop shot and just pat her arm or leg but a few have come dangerously close to her face, which would have provoked a hand-slap from me. A geriatric sales rep at Lazy-Boy asked if she washed her hands could she hold the baby. I deferred to Yamaya who agreed – but then the woman referred to herself as Grandma. People get weird around babies.
4. Parking lots make great feeding locations. Drive to the area of the parking lot were few cars are gathered so mama can take her boob out at nourish your child. This is necessary because my daughter doesn’t get it all at one time – she likes to space out her feeding over an hour or so requiring that every trip to the mall or grocery requires a parking lot feeding.
5. Breast-fed baby poop resembles mustardy oatmeal.
Yamaya’s water broke at 1am the morning of Dec. 8. We were at the hospital by 4am because she was already in the midst a full labor and was dialated 4 cm. By 6:30 Rhiannon was born with mom and baby both beautiful and healthy. Since that day, life is so wonderful. People always tell you that life after kids is never the same – and why would you want it to be? Why would anybody want to go back to the pre-baby life?
I heard radio personality and some-time actor Jay Thomas say on the radio the other day that any time you see a man pushing a stroller you are looking at a man who is miserable. Either Jay was trying to be funny or he is a giant douche. I’m thinking the later.
What are the top 5 things I have learned in the 3 weeks since Rhiannon came into my life? (By the way – everything here was told to us a gazillion times by other people during the pregnancy. I never doubted any of them, but sometimes you have to experience to really know.)
I have learned:
1. New fathers should be prepared to take over all house-hold chores. Don’t think of this as a honey-do list – think of this is your chance to show your wife how much you appreciate her vagina stretching enough for your child to come out.
2. Sleep is precious. A baby requiring a boob every two hours does not provide for a good night’s sleep. Although, Yamaya does want me to be at my best for work so she generally lets me sleep. On the weekends I try to take the baby as much as possible to let Yamaya sleep. (*See note above concerning appreciation of vagina stretching.)
3. EVERYBODY wants to touch your baby. I mean everybody. I am not really a Spermophobe but neither do I like people to touch me. Perfect strangers love to look, ask how old and then their hands start to reach out. We are all drawn to babies I guess, but I have never wanted to touch a stranger’s child. Generally they stop shot and just pat her arm or leg but a few have come dangerously close to her face, which would have provoked a hand-slap from me. A geriatric sales rep at Lazy-Boy asked if she washed her hands could she hold the baby. I deferred to Yamaya who agreed – but then the woman referred to herself as Grandma. People get weird around babies.
4. Parking lots make great feeding locations. Drive to the area of the parking lot were few cars are gathered so mama can take her boob out at nourish your child. This is necessary because my daughter doesn’t get it all at one time – she likes to space out her feeding over an hour or so requiring that every trip to the mall or grocery requires a parking lot feeding.
5. Breast-fed baby poop resembles mustardy oatmeal.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Waiting for Rhiannon
So, I didn’t realize this would become a waiting game.
Saturday morning at 3am Yamaya woke me up because she needed help timing her “surges” - those of us following the Hypnobirthing plan of natural child birth refer to contractions as surges.
This was exciting – from dead sleep to 100mph – ready to grab the bags and hit the door. Luckily, we already knew that waiting was the key. Don’t get to the hospital too early – they will just turn you right back around.
So, we laid in bed for the next hour timing the surges with the stopwatch feature on her iPhone. We freaked a little bit when the first two surges were 4 minutes apart, but when the next one wasn’t for 14 minutes and the one after that 7, 14, 29 and then nothing until 7 am, we realized this wasn’t the big one.
All day yesterday we went about our business, took shoes back to the mall, bought a Christmas tree, and called the midwife to get a handle on how to time the surges accurately and which surges to pay attention to. Occasionally, Yamaya would stop, hold her stomach and stare into the distance – unresponsive. She would eventually look at me and acknowledge the surge. The midwife thought we would be having the baby very soon – so going into Sunday night we expected to wake up in the middle of the night with more regular surges …. but I’m writing this blog entry instead.
Saturday morning at 3am Yamaya woke me up because she needed help timing her “surges” - those of us following the Hypnobirthing plan of natural child birth refer to contractions as surges.
This was exciting – from dead sleep to 100mph – ready to grab the bags and hit the door. Luckily, we already knew that waiting was the key. Don’t get to the hospital too early – they will just turn you right back around.
So, we laid in bed for the next hour timing the surges with the stopwatch feature on her iPhone. We freaked a little bit when the first two surges were 4 minutes apart, but when the next one wasn’t for 14 minutes and the one after that 7, 14, 29 and then nothing until 7 am, we realized this wasn’t the big one.
All day yesterday we went about our business, took shoes back to the mall, bought a Christmas tree, and called the midwife to get a handle on how to time the surges accurately and which surges to pay attention to. Occasionally, Yamaya would stop, hold her stomach and stare into the distance – unresponsive. She would eventually look at me and acknowledge the surge. The midwife thought we would be having the baby very soon – so going into Sunday night we expected to wake up in the middle of the night with more regular surges …. but I’m writing this blog entry instead.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Making the Hope Real
It has only happened once and for that I am grateful.
The waitress was so nice and so pleasant and asked my wife about her pregnancy and the baby and all the usuals when people meet a very pregnant woman with a bulging belly-button. She was as nice as she could be.
But when she brought the check she asked us if the checks should be separate or together.
"Well, I'm pretty sure my wife thinks of my money as her money and her money as my money - so one check will be fine."
Would a couple of the same race be asked the same question?
I don't know, but I have my suspicions.
I'm not hating on the waitress - just a casual observation. But, we had more than one friend in Florida speculate on how well a bi-racial couple was going to be welcomed to conservative Ohio. Secretly, I suspected they might be right. I have to say that I was surprised that Ohio went for Pres-Elect Obama. Happy but surprised, and that seems to be a testament to both the people of Ohio and Mr. Obama.
Since moving back here full-time in September, I have observed more mixed-race couples than I expected, and our neighborhood in west Akron is racially mixed and seemingly very harmonious.
On the other hand, a golfing-buddy of mine expressed that he was worried about our kids and what they would have to go through as bi-racial children. I read between the lines pretty well. He wasn't worried about my kids. Golf-buddy was letting me know passive-aggressively that he didn't approve. He said this after seeing a picture of my wife and asking me what "nationality" she is.
Yesterday in line at Giant Eagle a young mother in front of me wanted to pay for her groceries using a combination of cash and debit card. For some reason the cashier couldn't figure out how to do this and the supervisor who came to help also had difficulty. They figured out the problem eventually - they had been trying to process the sale assuming the young, black mother was using a food stamp card rather than a regular bank debit card. She had told them. I heard her tell them. But they made an assumption.
This is a time of hope and change. Even though we hear the doom and gloom of the economy on one hand there is a sense of optimism on the other. And we seem to be looking past race while doing it - because we all want the best for our country - which means we want the best for ourselves.
Let's see if we can hold on to that hope - make it real. Empower everybody with no excuses with no stereotypes.
The waitress was so nice and so pleasant and asked my wife about her pregnancy and the baby and all the usuals when people meet a very pregnant woman with a bulging belly-button. She was as nice as she could be.
But when she brought the check she asked us if the checks should be separate or together.
"Well, I'm pretty sure my wife thinks of my money as her money and her money as my money - so one check will be fine."
Would a couple of the same race be asked the same question?
I don't know, but I have my suspicions.
I'm not hating on the waitress - just a casual observation. But, we had more than one friend in Florida speculate on how well a bi-racial couple was going to be welcomed to conservative Ohio. Secretly, I suspected they might be right. I have to say that I was surprised that Ohio went for Pres-Elect Obama. Happy but surprised, and that seems to be a testament to both the people of Ohio and Mr. Obama.
Since moving back here full-time in September, I have observed more mixed-race couples than I expected, and our neighborhood in west Akron is racially mixed and seemingly very harmonious.
On the other hand, a golfing-buddy of mine expressed that he was worried about our kids and what they would have to go through as bi-racial children. I read between the lines pretty well. He wasn't worried about my kids. Golf-buddy was letting me know passive-aggressively that he didn't approve. He said this after seeing a picture of my wife and asking me what "nationality" she is.
Yesterday in line at Giant Eagle a young mother in front of me wanted to pay for her groceries using a combination of cash and debit card. For some reason the cashier couldn't figure out how to do this and the supervisor who came to help also had difficulty. They figured out the problem eventually - they had been trying to process the sale assuming the young, black mother was using a food stamp card rather than a regular bank debit card. She had told them. I heard her tell them. But they made an assumption.
This is a time of hope and change. Even though we hear the doom and gloom of the economy on one hand there is a sense of optimism on the other. And we seem to be looking past race while doing it - because we all want the best for our country - which means we want the best for ourselves.
Let's see if we can hold on to that hope - make it real. Empower everybody with no excuses with no stereotypes.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Back to Ohio....
“Why the hell do you want to live in Ohio?”
Obviously the question Yamaya and I get the most.
“Why would you want to move from Florida to Ohio?” Just yesterday as we entered a store following a woman holding an umbrella against the wind blowing tiny sharp snow pellets into her face, the woman turned and said to us, ”Arizona is looking better and better.”
So here we are in Northeast Ohio – just on the southern border of the Snow Belt – and we moved here from Florida. It wasn’t an irrational move. I, of course, have family ties here and grew up in this area. Yamaya, however, is Floridian through and through, growing up in Orlando and West Palm Beach – the first significant snowfall she has ever see took place last week – her second full-day as an Buckeye.
As I have watched the snow come in so many forms in the last two weeks I realize why Eskimos have hundreds of words for the different type of snow that falls. And being that my new career not only requires my to do a lot of driving but also to pull a camper behind me that I affectionately refer to as Mabel the Mobile Showroom, I have not only a new-comers wonder at the weather – as if I didn’t grow up yearning for snow days and spend hours outside sledding and fort building – but I am also reminded of all the risks and rewards of living in the land of snow.
The answer to the question is easy – Florida is a great place to visit, but living there is…living there. No, you don’t contend with snow but you do deal with the fear of hurricanes – and as a person who has lived through hurricanes – I’ll take snow ANY six-months of the year as opposed to one hurricane that blows down your house and knocks out your electricity for two weeks leaving you sweltering in a tropical jungle eating canned beans and shitting in a bucket.
To be more holistic and new age about it – I think people need to experience four seasons. There is something about our internal clock that needs to be reset – to experience the fall and winter in order to appreciate the spring and summer. And I can tell you – Florida is a fantastic place – as long as you know you can leave.
**A note to those we left behind – we love you. Our move to Ohio was difficult because we knew that leaving you – our friends and colleagues – would be the hardest of hard. Special thanks to Ted and Jewel – we cannot thank you enough.
Beyond the snow there is family and friends. There is the support we are looking for when the baby comes. There is the adventure – Yamaya and I love to explore and learn. Ohio is also, sort-of, centrally located. To get anywhere from West Palm Beach you first have to drive 5 hours just to get out of Ohio. I that same amount of time or less I can be in New York, Chicago, St. Louis and so many other places.
So here we are, Back to Ohio. Looking to experience this new life with new friends, old friends, and family. If I believed in time, 2008 would prove to be a seminal year in our lives. I can’t wait for what is around the next corner.
Speaking of the next corner – lets call that corner Rhiannon – our daughter due Dec. 7.
Next adventure – Fatherhood!
Obviously the question Yamaya and I get the most.
“Why would you want to move from Florida to Ohio?” Just yesterday as we entered a store following a woman holding an umbrella against the wind blowing tiny sharp snow pellets into her face, the woman turned and said to us, ”Arizona is looking better and better.”
So here we are in Northeast Ohio – just on the southern border of the Snow Belt – and we moved here from Florida. It wasn’t an irrational move. I, of course, have family ties here and grew up in this area. Yamaya, however, is Floridian through and through, growing up in Orlando and West Palm Beach – the first significant snowfall she has ever see took place last week – her second full-day as an Buckeye.
As I have watched the snow come in so many forms in the last two weeks I realize why Eskimos have hundreds of words for the different type of snow that falls. And being that my new career not only requires my to do a lot of driving but also to pull a camper behind me that I affectionately refer to as Mabel the Mobile Showroom, I have not only a new-comers wonder at the weather – as if I didn’t grow up yearning for snow days and spend hours outside sledding and fort building – but I am also reminded of all the risks and rewards of living in the land of snow.
The answer to the question is easy – Florida is a great place to visit, but living there is…living there. No, you don’t contend with snow but you do deal with the fear of hurricanes – and as a person who has lived through hurricanes – I’ll take snow ANY six-months of the year as opposed to one hurricane that blows down your house and knocks out your electricity for two weeks leaving you sweltering in a tropical jungle eating canned beans and shitting in a bucket.
To be more holistic and new age about it – I think people need to experience four seasons. There is something about our internal clock that needs to be reset – to experience the fall and winter in order to appreciate the spring and summer. And I can tell you – Florida is a fantastic place – as long as you know you can leave.
**A note to those we left behind – we love you. Our move to Ohio was difficult because we knew that leaving you – our friends and colleagues – would be the hardest of hard. Special thanks to Ted and Jewel – we cannot thank you enough.
Beyond the snow there is family and friends. There is the support we are looking for when the baby comes. There is the adventure – Yamaya and I love to explore and learn. Ohio is also, sort-of, centrally located. To get anywhere from West Palm Beach you first have to drive 5 hours just to get out of Ohio. I that same amount of time or less I can be in New York, Chicago, St. Louis and so many other places.
So here we are, Back to Ohio. Looking to experience this new life with new friends, old friends, and family. If I believed in time, 2008 would prove to be a seminal year in our lives. I can’t wait for what is around the next corner.
Speaking of the next corner – lets call that corner Rhiannon – our daughter due Dec. 7.
Next adventure – Fatherhood!
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