It has only happened once and for that I am grateful.
The waitress was so nice and so pleasant and asked my wife about her pregnancy and the baby and all the usuals when people meet a very pregnant woman with a bulging belly-button. She was as nice as she could be.
But when she brought the check she asked us if the checks should be separate or together.
"Well, I'm pretty sure my wife thinks of my money as her money and her money as my money - so one check will be fine."
Would a couple of the same race be asked the same question?
I don't know, but I have my suspicions.
I'm not hating on the waitress - just a casual observation. But, we had more than one friend in Florida speculate on how well a bi-racial couple was going to be welcomed to conservative Ohio. Secretly, I suspected they might be right. I have to say that I was surprised that Ohio went for Pres-Elect Obama. Happy but surprised, and that seems to be a testament to both the people of Ohio and Mr. Obama.
Since moving back here full-time in September, I have observed more mixed-race couples than I expected, and our neighborhood in west Akron is racially mixed and seemingly very harmonious.
On the other hand, a golfing-buddy of mine expressed that he was worried about our kids and what they would have to go through as bi-racial children. I read between the lines pretty well. He wasn't worried about my kids. Golf-buddy was letting me know passive-aggressively that he didn't approve. He said this after seeing a picture of my wife and asking me what "nationality" she is.
Yesterday in line at Giant Eagle a young mother in front of me wanted to pay for her groceries using a combination of cash and debit card. For some reason the cashier couldn't figure out how to do this and the supervisor who came to help also had difficulty. They figured out the problem eventually - they had been trying to process the sale assuming the young, black mother was using a food stamp card rather than a regular bank debit card. She had told them. I heard her tell them. But they made an assumption.
This is a time of hope and change. Even though we hear the doom and gloom of the economy on one hand there is a sense of optimism on the other. And we seem to be looking past race while doing it - because we all want the best for our country - which means we want the best for ourselves.
Let's see if we can hold on to that hope - make it real. Empower everybody with no excuses with no stereotypes.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Back to Ohio....
“Why the hell do you want to live in Ohio?”
Obviously the question Yamaya and I get the most.
“Why would you want to move from Florida to Ohio?” Just yesterday as we entered a store following a woman holding an umbrella against the wind blowing tiny sharp snow pellets into her face, the woman turned and said to us, ”Arizona is looking better and better.”
So here we are in Northeast Ohio – just on the southern border of the Snow Belt – and we moved here from Florida. It wasn’t an irrational move. I, of course, have family ties here and grew up in this area. Yamaya, however, is Floridian through and through, growing up in Orlando and West Palm Beach – the first significant snowfall she has ever see took place last week – her second full-day as an Buckeye.
As I have watched the snow come in so many forms in the last two weeks I realize why Eskimos have hundreds of words for the different type of snow that falls. And being that my new career not only requires my to do a lot of driving but also to pull a camper behind me that I affectionately refer to as Mabel the Mobile Showroom, I have not only a new-comers wonder at the weather – as if I didn’t grow up yearning for snow days and spend hours outside sledding and fort building – but I am also reminded of all the risks and rewards of living in the land of snow.
The answer to the question is easy – Florida is a great place to visit, but living there is…living there. No, you don’t contend with snow but you do deal with the fear of hurricanes – and as a person who has lived through hurricanes – I’ll take snow ANY six-months of the year as opposed to one hurricane that blows down your house and knocks out your electricity for two weeks leaving you sweltering in a tropical jungle eating canned beans and shitting in a bucket.
To be more holistic and new age about it – I think people need to experience four seasons. There is something about our internal clock that needs to be reset – to experience the fall and winter in order to appreciate the spring and summer. And I can tell you – Florida is a fantastic place – as long as you know you can leave.
**A note to those we left behind – we love you. Our move to Ohio was difficult because we knew that leaving you – our friends and colleagues – would be the hardest of hard. Special thanks to Ted and Jewel – we cannot thank you enough.
Beyond the snow there is family and friends. There is the support we are looking for when the baby comes. There is the adventure – Yamaya and I love to explore and learn. Ohio is also, sort-of, centrally located. To get anywhere from West Palm Beach you first have to drive 5 hours just to get out of Ohio. I that same amount of time or less I can be in New York, Chicago, St. Louis and so many other places.
So here we are, Back to Ohio. Looking to experience this new life with new friends, old friends, and family. If I believed in time, 2008 would prove to be a seminal year in our lives. I can’t wait for what is around the next corner.
Speaking of the next corner – lets call that corner Rhiannon – our daughter due Dec. 7.
Next adventure – Fatherhood!
Obviously the question Yamaya and I get the most.
“Why would you want to move from Florida to Ohio?” Just yesterday as we entered a store following a woman holding an umbrella against the wind blowing tiny sharp snow pellets into her face, the woman turned and said to us, ”Arizona is looking better and better.”
So here we are in Northeast Ohio – just on the southern border of the Snow Belt – and we moved here from Florida. It wasn’t an irrational move. I, of course, have family ties here and grew up in this area. Yamaya, however, is Floridian through and through, growing up in Orlando and West Palm Beach – the first significant snowfall she has ever see took place last week – her second full-day as an Buckeye.
As I have watched the snow come in so many forms in the last two weeks I realize why Eskimos have hundreds of words for the different type of snow that falls. And being that my new career not only requires my to do a lot of driving but also to pull a camper behind me that I affectionately refer to as Mabel the Mobile Showroom, I have not only a new-comers wonder at the weather – as if I didn’t grow up yearning for snow days and spend hours outside sledding and fort building – but I am also reminded of all the risks and rewards of living in the land of snow.
The answer to the question is easy – Florida is a great place to visit, but living there is…living there. No, you don’t contend with snow but you do deal with the fear of hurricanes – and as a person who has lived through hurricanes – I’ll take snow ANY six-months of the year as opposed to one hurricane that blows down your house and knocks out your electricity for two weeks leaving you sweltering in a tropical jungle eating canned beans and shitting in a bucket.
To be more holistic and new age about it – I think people need to experience four seasons. There is something about our internal clock that needs to be reset – to experience the fall and winter in order to appreciate the spring and summer. And I can tell you – Florida is a fantastic place – as long as you know you can leave.
**A note to those we left behind – we love you. Our move to Ohio was difficult because we knew that leaving you – our friends and colleagues – would be the hardest of hard. Special thanks to Ted and Jewel – we cannot thank you enough.
Beyond the snow there is family and friends. There is the support we are looking for when the baby comes. There is the adventure – Yamaya and I love to explore and learn. Ohio is also, sort-of, centrally located. To get anywhere from West Palm Beach you first have to drive 5 hours just to get out of Ohio. I that same amount of time or less I can be in New York, Chicago, St. Louis and so many other places.
So here we are, Back to Ohio. Looking to experience this new life with new friends, old friends, and family. If I believed in time, 2008 would prove to be a seminal year in our lives. I can’t wait for what is around the next corner.
Speaking of the next corner – lets call that corner Rhiannon – our daughter due Dec. 7.
Next adventure – Fatherhood!
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