The Waiting is OVER!

Isn't she lovely?
Originally uploaded by gregoryscotsmith

So, the waiting is over and I have been a parent for a week and a day. I think we all have a tendancy to not believe until we see or experience and I will not say that I didn’t know becoming a father would change everything forever. But, no matter how excited I was for this moment, this change, this shift in the universe, I was not prepared for the love, the depth of caring and adoration I feel for the now 1 week and 1 day old Rhiannon Nia-Evelyn Smith. My love for her is like a thirst that I just can’t quentch.

Yamaya’s water broke at 1am the morning of Dec. 8. We were at the hospital by 4am because she was already in the midst a full labor and was dialated 4 cm. By 6:30 Rhiannon was born with mom and baby both beautiful and healthy. Since that day, life is so wonderful. People always tell you that life after kids is never the same – and why would you want it to be? Why would anybody want to go back to the pre-baby life?

I heard radio personality and some-time actor Jay Thomas say on the radio the other day that any time you see a man pushing a stroller you are looking at a man who is miserable. Either Jay was trying to be funny or he is a giant douche. I’m thinking the later.

What are the top 5 things I have learned in the 3 weeks since Rhiannon came into my life? (By the way – everything here was told to us a gazillion times by other people during the pregnancy. I never doubted any of them, but sometimes you have to experience to really know.)

I have learned:

1. New fathers should be prepared to take over all house-hold chores. Don’t think of this as a honey-do list – think of this is your chance to show your wife how much you appreciate her vagina stretching enough for your child to come out.

2. Sleep is precious. A baby requiring a boob every two hours does not provide for a good night’s sleep. Although, Yamaya does want me to be at my best for work so she generally lets me sleep. On the weekends I try to take the baby as much as possible to let Yamaya sleep. (*See note above concerning appreciation of vagina stretching.)

3. EVERYBODY wants to touch your baby. I mean everybody. I am not really a Spermophobe but neither do I like people to touch me. Perfect strangers love to look, ask how old and then their hands start to reach out. We are all drawn to babies I guess, but I have never wanted to touch a stranger’s child. Generally they stop shot and just pat her arm or leg but a few have come dangerously close to her face, which would have provoked a hand-slap from me. A geriatric sales rep at Lazy-Boy asked if she washed her hands could she hold the baby. I deferred to Yamaya who agreed – but then the woman referred to herself as Grandma. People get weird around babies.

4. Parking lots make great feeding locations. Drive to the area of the parking lot were few cars are gathered so mama can take her boob out at nourish your child. This is necessary because my daughter doesn’t get it all at one time – she likes to space out her feeding over an hour or so requiring that every trip to the mall or grocery requires a parking lot feeding.

5. Breast-fed baby poop resembles mustardy oatmeal.

Waiting for Rhiannon

So, I didn’t realize this would become a waiting game.

Saturday morning at 3am Yamaya woke me up because she needed help timing her “surges” - those of us following the Hypnobirthing plan of natural child birth refer to contractions as surges.

This was exciting – from dead sleep to 100mph – ready to grab the bags and hit the door. Luckily, we already knew that waiting was the key. Don’t get to the hospital too early – they will just turn you right back around.

So, we laid in bed for the next hour timing the surges with the stopwatch feature on her iPhone. We freaked a little bit when the first two surges were 4 minutes apart, but when the next one wasn’t for 14 minutes and the one after that 7, 14, 29 and then nothing until 7 am, we realized this wasn’t the big one.

All day yesterday we went about our business, took shoes back to the mall, bought a Christmas tree, and called the midwife to get a handle on how to time the surges accurately and which surges to pay attention to. Occasionally, Yamaya would stop, hold her stomach and stare into the distance – unresponsive. She would eventually look at me and acknowledge the surge. The midwife thought we would be having the baby very soon – so going into Sunday night we expected to wake up in the middle of the night with more regular surges …. but I’m writing this blog entry instead.